i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
