But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
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I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
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At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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