Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
