Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
