Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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