I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Life is so much better after having sex.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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