i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
