i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
