somebody snuck up and got me drunk
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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