Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
