You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You ruined the universe
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
