Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
