i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just pee around me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
