You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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