ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize