is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I touched a dick in church today
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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