You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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