I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
