Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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