And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
