im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
