Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.

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(207): View more from Maine

I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.

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(347): View more from New York

today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud

(917): View more from New York City

it's sad that this is a milestone

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(217): View more from Illinois

I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.

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These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Wait

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(847): View more from Illinois

Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.

(630): View more from Illinois

As weird as it sounds I would totally be down

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(713): View more from Texas

Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?

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(847): View more from Illinois

I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?

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