Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry