the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...