i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.