we have officially mastered the walk of shame
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
