Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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