I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
