and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wish you could order shots online.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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