that's an acceptable place to lick
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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