btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
