I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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