Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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