She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
