I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
