Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
