Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
