I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
