Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
