my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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