Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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