just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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