absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
