We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
