My first STD was from a foam party
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I didn't notice because vodka
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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