I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
