i love accidental penises.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
