That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
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I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
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He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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