Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
