You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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