the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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