Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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