You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
