soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
