ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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