Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
