she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
