Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize