i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
