did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
