I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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