I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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