I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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