Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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