i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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