If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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