yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
