I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
