I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
