im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
