I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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